Our 10 for 10

29 May

In 2023 we celebrated 10 years of being at The Transformed You and here we want to share 10 insights we know about the Care Experienced Journey.

We Are Capable of Achieving Great Things

As Care Experienced, we go through traumatic experiences that impact on how we see ourselves and also impacts on how we respond or engage with those around us. As a result of how we respond or engage, we are often labelled as hard to reach or hard to engage on route to poor outcomes and poor life chances. This perception of us is untrue. The truth is that with the right support, from those who are willing to invest the time and patience to get to know and understand us, we are more than capable of achieving great things.

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Meetings
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On our journey through the Care System, statutory meetings (and more), take place to put in place and review the plans detailing who will be caring for us, how we will be cared for and how we will be supported to achieve our full potential. Our Mentees often share with us “There’s no point in going (to the meetings) because all they talk about is the bad stuff” or “They keep bringing up my past. I’m not there anymore”. Now whilst we understand that there will be challenges for all on this Care Journey, would it be possible to balance the meetings agenda to have a focus on the achievements and progress of the child or young person in Care and their bright future. Doing so will help us to see that you care and accept us, even on our not so good days.

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Please be on the Same Page
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Within Children’s Social Care, we have the Children’s Social Care Department who is responsible to protect, care and raise us and we have the Virtual School who is responsible for supporting us to achieve in education. In our eyes, both departments are co-corporate parents to the Child or Young Person in their Care, however that said, we often notice that both are not always on the same page when it comes to sharing information or agreeing on the best course of action to take, with our care and future at the centre of the conversations. This impacts on our view and confidence in a System that is designed to care for us and raise us.

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Too Many
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When a Child or Young Person in Care, is experiencing a challenging time, please be mindful not to sign them up to and overload them with support and interventions from too many different organisations, to support and work on each and every outburst or behaviour that is being displayed by the Child or Young Person. This multiple support system from multiple directions, can result in the Child or Young Person becoming overwhelmed and vote with their feet, or engage in body and not in spirit, with the desired outcome not being achieved.

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Hear Our Voice
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On our journey through the Care System, there are times when we’d like to speak up about some aspects of the Care we receive, but we aren’t sure of how to express this and we’re unsure as to whether you will believe us. This causes us to stay silent, go missing or act out in school. With that in mind, please understand that our behaviour is sending you a message, and please create a safe space for us to share our views without being judged or labelled.

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Good Endings
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Please don’t wait until the last minute to let us know we are being moved to a new Placement. The sudden moves from Placement to Placement has an impact on our mental health and emotional wellbeing, with racing thoughts keeping us highly alert and unable to relax, unsure of what is next and unsure of whether we are safe. It also adds to our feelings and thoughts of being rejected, unwanted and unloved. So where possible, please allow us to have good endings

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Be Good
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Too many times, we hear the direction to ‘Be Good’ or we are promised incentives if we display ‘Good Behaviour’ for long periods of time. With that in mind, please remember we are human and are not exempt from making mistakes. That said, please stop telling us to be good, instead encourage us to do our best, show us how, be patient with us and celebrate our small steps of progress.

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Our Parents
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As is known, we enter the Care System because our parents, for whatever reason were unable to raise us, care for us or keep us safe. Some of us are still in communication with our parents and some of us are not. It is here that we want to ask you to be mindful of what you say about our Parents.

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Don’t Wait for a Crisis
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Too many times we see Interventions being put in place as the last resort, when the Child or Young Person is in complete crisis after a number of school exclusions and placement breakdowns. Early consistent intervention is key to help regulate and navigate our way through Care. Early consistent intervention is key to help prepare us to navigate life after Care.

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Our Story, Our Expertise
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We understand that sharing Our Story and Our Expertise comes at an emotional cost, of us having to relive every deep and painful traumatic experience, in our quest to speak out and be a part of the change to Children’s Social Care, for the next generation who will enter the Care System.

We also understand that sharing Our Story is advantageous to certain aspects of the Sector and to certain organisations within the Sector, enabling them to keep their doors open and their inspection ratings consistent.

We also understand that Our Story and Our Expertise is advantageous for the purpose of Research within the Sector.

That said, the repeated requests to share our stories and engage in research that seems to be recycled from another organisations efforts, can sometimes be interpreted as organisations trying to outdo each other wasting valuable time, when the solutions they profess to seek are already written and published in Reports that are easily accessible.

With that in mind, we want to encourage the Care Experienced to only share Your Story when you have made peace with and have healed through each detail of Your Care Journey.

Only share if you will be renumerated for your time of preparation to share and for your time required to share. You too have financial responsibilities, no matter how small and a Voucher will not always meet that need.

Now that’s our 10! Let us know in the comments or send us an email, if you agree or if we’ve missed any!