Christmas & The Care Experience
Across the world, communities gather together to celebrate Christmas. To many, the 25th of December marks the date they believe Jesus was born.
For others, who don’t celebrate Christmas or believe in Jesus, to them this is a holiday, a chance to take a well deserved break and get ready for the new year.
With a focus on the festive season, schools replay the nativity, Christmas songs are on repeat in some shops, staff exchange gifts through their secret santa and organisations give out large hampers generously filled with food or toys for families and individuals who are in need.
In the public domain, TV ads and Billboards show images of families either sitting around a fireplace unwrapping presents, helping each other cook the Christmas meal or seated at a well decorated table, eating what is considered to be a Christmas dinner.
With that in mind, the underlying message of ‘Family Time’ rings loudly during this season and can have an impact on those who may not have loved ones they can share this time with, and whilst there are many people who fall into this category, we’d like to focus on the Care Experienced.
The start of our Care Journey begins with being separated from our immediate birth family. For some of us this can be a separation from our Mum, Dad and/or our Siblings. We may have had some good Christmases with them and some not so good Christmases with them, but here we are on Christmas day without them. Family.
In Care
For some of us, spending this day with a Foster Family that has looked after us for a few years and who see us as part of their family can seem like the best as we laugh, eat and open presents together, but in the back of our minds we’ve made a mental note that in reality this isn’t our Family.
For some of us, we may retreat to our room, glued to our phones, apps or a console, to drown out the noise from a Foster Family we really don’t feel a part of.
For some of us, Christmas in a Residential Children’s Home or Semi Independent Home can seem like just another day, as Staff come and go. A meal is prepared, gifts are shared and Staff try their best to lift our mood, but in the back of our minds we’ve made a mental note that in reality this isn’t our Family.
Contact (time our Social Workers have arranged for us to spend time with our family) during this season can also seem tricky as our Parents load us up with gifts, cards and money before waving us off back to our Foster Carers or Key Workers, when in the back of our minds we ask the silent question ‘why couldn’t we be a normal family and spend Christmas together?’.
Care Leavers
As Care Leavers, we’re on our own with what seems to be a limited choice of how we spend the day.
For some of us, we find the strength to go along to a Care Leavers Christmas Dinner, where we can have a meal, receive gifts and have fun with other Care Leavers, but in the back of our minds we’ve made a mental note that in reality this isn’t our Family.
For some of us, we spend the time with our friends and their family, but in the back of our minds we’ve made a mental note that in reality this isn’t our Family.
For some of us, we have a fresh perspective on life and want to be on our own, and not around people who remind us of our time in Care.
And for some of us, we want to give back and spend the day volunteering.
However we spend Christmas, In Care or as a Care Leaver, know that the day will naturally evoke feelings of loss, but balanced with good genuine support either on the phone or in person, the season can turn out to be a season of good cheer, preparing us for the new year and bright future ahead of us; and who knows if we choose to, we may one day create our own version of a family, changing the narrative of what Christmas means to us, and in the back of our minds we’ll make a mental note that these people around us are our Family.
If Christmas & The Care Experience resonates with you, let us know in the comments or send us an email.